Sorry

Distance has taught me so much of what love means. I can't lie that when you first start being on a long distance relationship after years being next to each other, there were doubts like ALOT of them. Especially when some people around you are justifying how it's so hard to work out From experience, NONE of my LDR worked out because no one was on the same page. That contributed to having doubts that it aint going to be any different this time. 

But I fought through all these and last weekend, I've come to a point that I actually get it. I get how much this relationship is going to be different. First of all, both me and my man love each other so much that we can't explain how ridiculous it can be. It's weird how much you can care for someone so much despite the distance. For example, for the past at least 1 month and a half, I'd wake up in the middle of the night 3-4am just to check if he is home safe. I know how tired he is - the life of an auditor. Going home late and still have to drive for at least 40minutes (late nights) to home. It worries me if he gets tired while driving and etc (nauzubillah). I never did set an alarm to wake up at this time, its just my body clock. 

Throughout at least 6 months now, it's not a lie that we do fight. That's what happens in a normal relationship but we managed work things out. Especially when one doesn't get enough attention. From time to time I could see how much we try to accommodate to each other's schedule and the time difference. 

Personally, it was hard for me to accept that I can't see him when I want to even when I feel like I really need him by my side, I have to accept that he's not around in person to be here for now and that could be so difficult and frustrating! It can be really sad when you really want to celebrate but the most u could do is facetime. It's different when the person is actually physically here. But now I've come to a point of acceptance that this is what it is for now and insyaAllah one day we will reunite again - eternally insyaAllah. 

We go through a messy fight (mostly because of attention) when we are tired, we would get really cranky and somehow you turn into a monster,we will find ways to make it up to the other. For instance, a few weeks ago, I got a surprise at the office as an apology!!!! :D I know how he fails almost every one of his surprises but he definitely nailed it this time! I was so confused and surprised when I got the delivery coz I'm pretty sure I might have a secret admirer hahahahaahahah little did I know it was from him. Thanks to online shopping! (uberEats too!)

This sweet surprise showed me how much we actually matter to one another. I don't usually demand stuffs because I strongly believe that I have to work my butt off to get what I want BUTI wwouldn't mind getting random surprises (hahahahaha hehe). This was really sweet of him,really. 

Even we are 384832890704854miles away from one another, we still get excited to talk to each other every day. I realised how important it was to keep each other in the loop of our individual lives. and it sure showed me how much I can love someone without being able to have a specific reason. I really do look forward to meeting him again one day (hopefully soon sometime next year). Since we both are really busy with work & study, I know that this is going to be worth the wait and Allah has good reasons why we needed this distance. Probably he wants us to reflect ourselves on this relationship and be prepared for the next phase insyaAllah.  

Lastly, LDR also taught us both a lot about being forgiving and to love one another unconditionally as sometimes you just can't explain why you really want to be with that one person.

We were once strangers. I never expected this could actually spark between us but I'm glad it did. I miss you, love. We will be together side by side again one-day insyaAllah.

Bye guys, be kind!

Regards,

Liyana