A friend of mine

I have an amazing friend. She made me see the real point of living in this world and made me realise how much I've wasted my time . But I dint regret my past for any reason because it taught me alot about people, love, sacrifice and faith.

Knowing her for almost 3 years now, I truly believe He arranged all this from the beginning because He knows something better is coming in the future. If He did not will, this friendship wouldn't have been real. 

She has a heart of determination. 

We struggled together throughout our spm life. We fought alot. But maybe because of the differences that we had made us strong. 

The contradictions we have were the reason we understood both worlds and made it into one. Everytime I feel bad about myself, she would say she is worse. She will always drown herself in pain instead of us feeling the same. and that's when I knew she sacrificed alot in her life. 

Its true that people who makes others feel better ,find it harder for themselves to do the same .

Ive been there, it hurts when you cant make yourself happy but you could easily make others smile. Thats when I start to seek my happiness in the wrong path. But this is not my story. 

This girl, she had a tough past. We actually had the same situation but in a different story. She is so strong that she is 'used' with the pain.

Im blessed to have her as my friend. With all the things she taught me in 3years, its priceless. I do get annoyed alot but you know, siblings are like that too. Despite all the fights and hard times we had, we know we still love each other like its meant to be. 

Im loud and she, well she lough and fake smiles alot (which I can see).

Frankly, it bugs me to see her lough and smile. You know why? because I know its not real. The pain she hides is so clear to be seen. I want her to taste the real meaning of happiness and to actually live this life . I tried many ways but none of it worked. Until one stage I know whats holding her back and it was, me. 

I knew from that moment I have to disattached myself from her. It wasn't easy , I had to make her cry which is one of my mission goals and I did. 

The reason I chose to disattached is because the comfort zone im offering her. and I realised, this comfort zone is the reason she won't learn how to get out from her darkness that is drowning her. 

Her life is different than what others thought. For me to be in her position, I know I cant bare the pain as much as she does. 

Her family needs her, as the main support. She is so important to everyone around her. She has the power to actually hold everyone around her together.

The real parasite in her was the darkness she had been holding onto. 

It became her weakness as she emphasizes it everytime she tried to get out from her comfort zone.

My dear friend, I truly love you with all of my heart. It made me sad when you don't want to get out from the darkness when the light is offering you everyday.

You have every reason to smile. Allah will help you but your effort is what that counts. 

I won't always be there for you. You need to stand on your feet and make yourself smile,for real.

You're amazing, and you should know that. 

We can surrender but there are times you need to stand for whats right .

Drowning ourselves in pain is not the only way to make others feel better.

To have our own friend being happy and taste the real joy of life is enough as a cure.

You're one of the reasons who I'am today.

Thank you kak .

Sincerely,

Liyana :)